So, we are in Dornoch again. After what was around 24 hour’s worth of travel, me and Kathryn are snuggled up in twin beds in a shared house – the rest of the guests (my sister, Mum & Dad) are pumping out the zzzzzz’s. Kathryn is tucking into a book (The Bookthief) and I am lying next to her having dosed up on evening medicine and getting prepared to tilt against the windmills of my dreamscape. I intend to write a blog article every now and then throughout our stay in the highlands. This is more of a keepsake for me than a public announcement – I doubt the few visitors to my blog will get much from these post, it is more for me.

But, how did we get here and why are we here? We started to prepare for the journey up here a few weeks ago – Kathryn gave here clients enough time to work out what they will be doing without a walker and I made emergency plans to stop DJing for two nights.

Well, I stayed up the Thursday night drinking beer and talking talk with Allan until 5am – I was quite ready for bed when I came home as that was 24 hours since I had last slept. I was too tired to put my pyjamas on and fell asleep in my Bill Grundy’s. I was up four hours later buying posh tea from Betty’s for the reason’s we were visiting Dornoch – my Granny.

We got picked up from Harrogate around 1430 and Dad was ready for us when we arrived at the farm. I admit I slept for most of the journey up to Lennoxtown to stay at Aunt Elizabeth & Uncle Robert’s – still I was mightily refreshed for when we did arrive.

It turns out Uncle Robert has a similar interest in the Fair Folk – he mentioned about the myth of the Færie Bridge of Dornoch Firth – something I will write about at a later date. However, we set off around eight thirty – but – you – dear reader will be assured I was pumping out the snores by the time we left Lennoxtown.

I was woken up to be told we are stopping off at Pitlochry – I am hesitant to put in to words what I feel about the place that is on the the roadside there; but I will launch in to a bit of a bitch:

Everything I dislike about the northern part of the union is encapsulated by The House Of Bruar. Yes, the stuff on sale there is of high quality – indeed it is a luxury product shop – so it is priced out of the majority of people’s range – I splashed out on a Pastry and regret it. Because of the whole clansmanshp-for-sale aspect of it, it attracts old age Daily Fail readers who want a condensed view of the land of my mother – they do not want to watch a Kevin Bridges show but they want to buy their Heather pot-pouri surrounded by their own, the older by one or two, generation all sat around ogling the fly fishing, golfing and single origin malt gift packs – the whole thing sat uneasy with me and I am glad we made a bee-line for the exit after spilling pastry crumbs everywhere.

We arrived in Dornoch around 1400 and popped to see Granny whilst we were waiting on our holiday cottage becoming free. Alison was at Granny’s and feasting on Tunnoch’s tea-cakes.

Tea was a family favourite of steak pie. I remember reading an edition of the Dandy and seeing Desperate Dan eat cow pie on of the times we visited my granny years ago. When we were about seven we used to call the steak pies that Granny got from the Butcher “Cow Pies” and make the appropriate horn actions – We were sat in the same places we have sat in since we were old enough to make the journey up to the highlands.

The TV in the house could not have been more Scottish – I appreciate we are in the heart of the highlands. However, they were advertising a documentary about The Proclaimers (hosted by David Tennant) and there was a another trailer for a programme abut Big Yin. It was ace – I forgot how insular England has become after both Brexit and the Indy Ref.

It seems Scottish Media has made a break with Salford Keys and is striking out on it’s own – I think this is fantastic – I am unsure how long BBC TWO Scotland has been running but I thing it is fuggin great – more power to them. And, as they keep my Granny entertained for the evening (she live on her own) then I want to say “Thank you” to them too.

The night was ending and we switch off the TV back in the holiday cottage after watching a broadcast of Kevin Bridges genius stand up comedy – the man was on fire!

So, I am sat here with a week’s worth of relaxing and helping my Granny – a well deserved break, I think.

Dornoch from the air

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