It is currently 02:44 – this gives me license to be as camp and as melodramatic as I want; there is nobody here to judge me. This proposed course of action may sit uneasily with me. But, hell – let’s ride it out, there is nobody around to judge me after all. But what of this Nocturnal Living? Is it just tonight that I am wide awake in the small hours?
Unfortunately, I have a good few nights a week where I am up during the darkness. Does it bother me? I don’t know – I will get to that. Does it bother Kathryn? I hope not – that is the only real sticking point. To be honest, I am unsure whether my health (for it is a matter of health – ask not) impacts much on Kathryn’s modus operandi. She is an incredibly independent lady and a pleasure to be with. She seems to enjoy the time we have together all the more for being apart. So do I – she is a joy to be with and I still get butterflies when I hear her waking up in the morning after I have had a sleepless night, ready to greet her for the day.
So, let’s get to the crux of the matter – does my health make me appreciate Nocturnal Living or is Nocturnal Living seen as part of the landscape? As in, I appreciate there would be no nocturnal living without my ill health but would I still strive for this lifestyle?
I appreciate I do not want this blog post to turn in to “… what could have been” post. But I am instead making the best of a bad situation: listening to the cricket, producing a radio show, reading, listening to music (headphones – Sennheiser) chatting to mates in distant lands – all this is only achievable if I have a sleepless night.
I appreciate that, as an outsider to me, you may think I would actively strive to try and get a good nights sleep, a regular pattern – but – here is the thing: it is quite enjoyable to howl at the moon. In a nutshell, financially – I am broke. I will never be flush. Tapestry of Life: richest weave in the immediate family. There is so much I can do within the confines of my own four walls on a sleepless night that I cannot do in the daytime when Life gets in the way.
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy
He who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sunrise
– William Blake, 1757-1827.