I made it up to Windsor House yesterday - it was a breathless struggle and the most exercise I have done since I had Covid. I am still stiff as a board and ache all over for the virus; but, the fever has been broken and it was back in November that I had it.
Why was I walking across town to Windsor House? Well, Windsor House is the HQ of the Harrogate & District CMHT - I needed an injection.
For the first time since 2009 they are tickering with my medicine - and it is terrifying.
I received the loading dose for an injected version of the same type of medication that I am on now - I will be weened off the oral medication (except for Epilim and Fluoxitine) and I have been told to take Folic Acid and Vit. D.
But why am I terrified of this change? Because they have got it so wrong in the past - I have had some terrible experiences in the past with medication and I am still suffering as a result. An example of this is that one of my medications left me with such bad nerve damage that I have a tremor.
But, I have woken up on this sunny Saturday with a calmer head. Very drowsy and fuggy but optimistic. I hope the foggy head is just caused by the sharp start after a good sleep (I had not been sleeping recently).
Will this be another trade off?
Will I have to accept serenity at the cost of my wits?
This is why I am terrified.